Temporary Goodbyes

Life is full of temporary goodbyes. As I prepare to leave for my mission in what is now down to five days, I have already had to start with those temporary goodbyes. The first of many goodbyes started with the Hansen Family. A lot of you have most likely heard of the Hansen's through the facebook page called Kennedy's HUGS, but if you haven't, I will share a little bit about them and how they have changed my life.

Kennedy Hansen came into my life almost three short years ago. Kennedy was unfortunately born with a rare disease called Terminal Juvenile Batten Disease. (You can read about what Juvenile Batten Disease is in the link, or can learn more about it on Kennedy's HUGS facebook page.) The first time I met Kennedy I ran into her in the hall. Kennedy was blind, so there is no way she could have seen me coming, BUT she was the one that apologized to me! I apologized so many times and felt so bad even after she had told me "Okay O-O-Okay." A few weeks later we had a talk at cheer practice about inviting Miss Kennedy to join our cheer team and from then on our adventure started.

One of many Kennedys Hugs.

A few days after that we walked down to the Special Needs classroom at Fremont High and our coach, Jill, gave Kennedy a pair of pom poms and invited her to join our team. Kennedy was filled with joy and gave Jill the biggest, tightest, best hug I had ever seen (Trust me, they were really great hugs!). I remember making the long walk back to the gym with twenty six of my teammates so we could start practice. I wish you all could have been there to experience how strong the spirit was in that moment! It was quiet, but you could hear girls talk about how good they felt and how happy they were. It was like the spirit had smacked us each in the face that morning. IT WAS SO STRONG.

Kenn was the best backspot!

The next week, Kennedy joined us at cheer practice to learn some cheers to cheer at that weeks Football game. I taught her how to back spot, and that is one of the best memories I had with her next to so many others. She caught on to all the cheers so quick and was ready to cheer at that weeks game after one practice!

 Later in the week, we met to give Kennedy her uniform and warm ups. That was the first time I met Jason and Heather. If I could describe Jason and Heather in a few words, its almost like meeting a general authority and his wife. They are SO in tune with the spirit and with everything they were going through, They were calm, kind, and so welcoming to all 27 cheerleaders that walked in their front door that day! They treated us each like their daughters from that point on and still do treat us like their daughters. I always say that I gained a second family through Miss Kennedy, because it's true!

First Game!

Kennedy cheered with us at the game that week and became a permanent member of our team that year and always. She cheered at every game, every assembly, and every competition that year. Every single one! and did I mention she was blind? Because that is incredible! Kennedy taught us SO much throughout that year but one of the things I will never forget is when she taught us not to look at our challenges as challenges. We sat in a circle at cheer practice one day and Jill was asking us what challenges we have. We went around the circle, some girls talking about boys, others about school, others about family. When it got to Kennedy, Jill asked her if she had any challenges and her response was simply "No.." Jill asked why she didn't have any challenges and another girl answered with "Because she doesn't see them as challenges." It was honestly the most humbling cheer practice I have ever been through, and I've been through A LOT of cheer practices. Kennedy didn't have any challenges. In her eyes, she could do anything! If she wanted to cheer, she was going to cheer, and she did! If she wanted to have a boyfriend, she was going to have a boyfriend, and she did! She had friends, she was popular,and she was so happy.

My cheer team got a lot of publicity that year, but none of it mattered to us. All we cared about was Kennedy and when we put our effort into Kennedy we were invincible. We took the region title that year and couldn't have done it without Kennedy! It was incredible. Our cheer team was so focused on Kennedy, that if we would have gotten dead last at a competition, we wouldn't have even cared. People, of course, had negative things to say about us but we didn't care! We knew what happened on those mats and we knew the feelings we had about making Kennedy the center of our team and that was all that mattered to us.

That smile is contagious.

Towards the end of Competition season, Kennedy started declining. She missed more and more school than usual, and a lot of the cheerleaders, myself included, found ourselves sluffing school to be with Kennedy. During the school year we saw her multiple times a day at school and were over at her house every day after school spending time with her and her family. So, to just all of a sudden see less and less of her was HARD for all of us. I will never forget the day Jill sent a group text to the cheerleaders telling us it was time to say our "Temporary Goodbye" to Kennedy. My heart just sank into my stomach and I honestly felt like I could throw up. I was heartbroken.

Two long days after that, we all gathered at the Hansen's and said our goodbyes to our Sweet Kenn. If you can imagine 27 cheerleaders in a room saying goodbye to their best friend and teammate with tears running down their cheeks, then you can imagine how heartbreaking this was. We all got a chance to say our goodbyes individually and every time we said goodbye, we would cry, and Kennedy would squeeze our hand and cry with us. I left the Hansen's that day knowing that it would be the last time I saw Kenn in this life. When I woke up to a text from Jill the next morning I knew Kennedy was gone and although I was heartbroken, I was overwhelmed with peace and comfort knowing that Kennedy got to see us all for the first time that morning and that our Loving Father In Heaven had finally got his long awaited Kennedy's Hug.

Celebrating Kenn's Life.

The months after that were hard. I struggled a lot and we struggled as a team my senior year. But the greatest thing that came from this was that we were all a family. Kennedy had brought us all together and we all gained a second family through our team and the Hansen's. The next two years would be filled with weekly, sometimes, daily phone calls from Jason, Text messages to Heather, Weekly or monthly visits to sit in Kennedy's room, and parties to celebrate the milestones of Kennedy's Life. Two years ago I said my Temporary goodbye to Kennedy, but who knew that two years later I would be saying a temporary goodbye to the rest of her family.. Just a little bit shorter this time.

So after hearing all of this, you can imagine how hard it must have been for the Hansen's to be my first goodbye as I embark on this next journey of mine. I would be lying if I said I didn't tear up when I hugged them goodbye for the last time, But it is SO comforting to know that I will have Kennedy with me throughout my mission. Although, this goodbye is temporary it is so very hard. So to the Hansen's. Jason, Heather, Kennedy, Anna, and Beau, THANK YOU. From the bottom of my heart thank you so very much for taking me in as one of your own. Thank you for making your home, my home away from home. But most importantly thank you for taking 27 cheerleaders and a coach in as your family and allowing us to be apart of Kennedy's journey. Being apart of this will help me in SO many different ways on my mission and I love you guys so much! I will never ever stop saying that I am so grateful for the second family that I gained through Miss Kennedy.



Love,
One of your 29 Daughters.. Em

Last Picture for 18 months!

Anna has become like One of my sisters and I am so very grateful for her!

Why I Decided to Serve a Mission

I never thought I would even have to explain why I decided to serve a mission, mostly because I had never planned on serving one. My family were all active members of the church until I was in the fifth grade. That's when my parents divorced and we moved up north. New home, new school, new friends. All my new friends were LDS but I still couldn't find the courage to go to church without my Mom. I hated sitting in sacrament by myself, especially as an 11 year old girl. People would always ask where my family was and I would have to tell them that they aren't active. I hated that. I hated having to explain myself so, for me, it was easier to just not go.

I went through Junior high, going to church every once in awhile but never more than once a month. I didn't start taking my religion seriously until I was in high school. Fremont High School had some of the best seminary teachers and I LOVED going to seminary. I had always loved to feel of the spirit but never took the time to actually apply the things I learned in seminary to my life.

My Junior year of high school, I took one semester of seminary and that was it. Junior year was not my year. I hit a low point and my self esteem got thrown in a hole. I started to fall away from the church and although I was still a member, I didn't go to church and I didn't care to live my life to the churches standards. Sometimes, I think we have to fall away from the Gospel to be able to appreciate everything the gospel has to offer.

I finally came back around my Senior year of high school. I had a really great seminary teacher and I had promised him and another teacher that I wouldn't miss a single day of Seminary.. and I didn't. I loved going to seminary! I started paying attention to the lessons and trying to apply what I learned from them to my own life. I learned more in that single year of seminary than I did in the last 3 years that I had taken prior to it. I had so much love for this gospel and was so grateful that I had taken the time to actually learn about it and apply it to my life. I was truly a happier person from taking that step and still am.

Towards the end of my senior year, I started to pray about a mission. It was May and I didn't turn Nineteen until the middle of March. But if I was going to serve a mission, I wanted to know right then. I wanted as much time as possible to prepare. I prayed and got the answer no. So I prayed again because I so badly wanted to serve a mission like all of my friends. I still got the answer no. I continued to pray and pray and pray and each time I prayed I got the answer no. I was so disappointed. But I look back on it now, and I continuously got the answer no because I wasn't wanting to serve a mission for the right reasons.

I had finally come to terms with not serving a mission. I came up with a new plan and was going to start college and get my schooling done as soon as I could so I could start my life. I started school in August, sent my boyfriend off on a mission in September, and started this new plan that I had in my head. I became active in the church again, not missing a single week. I finished my first semester of college with good grades and was so excited to start the spring semester.

My spring semester of college was a train wreck. My classes were HARD and I was frustrated. To make things worse, that boyfriend I sent off on his mission came home because of anxiety and it got blamed on me. Things weren't working out with his family and school was becoming a stressor on top of all the stress I already had. Things just weren't going my way.

I had gotten so frustrated one week that all I could think of to do was pray. I kneeled down in my room and I prayed the hardest I had ever prayed in my life. I asked my Heavenly Father to let me know if what I was doing right now was what I was supposed to be doing and if where I was, was where I needed to be. I prayed for guidance and comfort and anything else he was willing to give me. I went to bed that night and had a dream that I was in the Missionary Training Center. I didn't think anything of it until I continuously was having dreams of being on a mission. I was so confused. I had gotten the answer "no" nearly a year ago! I had come to terms with not going on a mission and I was going to do the school thing instead! I decided to go to the temple and I prayed while waiting to enter the baptismal font to know if I was really supposed to be on a mission. By the time I was done being baptized I knew. I was to serve a mission. I had been overwhelmed with peace and comfort and I just knew.

I wasted no time after that. I set up an appointment with my bishop and started my mission papers. I finished my mission papers in five days and had them submitted by the middle of may. I waited FIVE weeks for my mission call (which was seriously so long and made me soooo anxious). I prayed and prayed during those five weeks to feel at peace and to love wherever I was called.  I opened my call surrounded by all of my best friends and my family! I have been called to serve in the California Riverside Mission, Spanish Speaking, and I report in SIX DAYS (August 2nd).  I felt at peace and I couldn't wait to serve the people of California. I haven't felt any anxiety or stress about where I am going since I opened my call because I know the Lord is sending me there because there are people there that need me to teach them. How cool is it to know that?!

I promise there is a purpose to this story.. The point is, whether you serve a mission or don't, God has a plan for you! He has a specific plan just for you and when we follow his path it will lead us to eternal happiness! If you keep getting the answer "no" when you pray about serving a mission, that's okay! Go on with your life and do whatever else God has planned for you. Even if you don't finally get the "yes" you have been waiting for that's okay too! There are other things out there that God has planned for you and the best thing you can do is follow that plan. I also have a huge testimony on the Power of Prayer. I have seen too many times in my life where my prayers have been answered where there is no denying that the power of prayer is real! If you are ever in a time of desperate answers, PRAY. I promise God will give you answers if you are faithful to him. We all have a purpose in this life, we just have to find it.

Picture Credit: Jessica Casperson Photography
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