I went through Junior high, going to church every once in awhile but never more than once a month. I didn't start taking my religion seriously until I was in high school. Fremont High School had some of the best seminary teachers and I LOVED going to seminary. I had always loved to feel of the spirit but never took the time to actually apply the things I learned in seminary to my life.
My Junior year of high school, I took one semester of seminary and that was it. Junior year was not my year. I hit a low point and my self esteem got thrown in a hole. I started to fall away from the church and although I was still a member, I didn't go to church and I didn't care to live my life to the churches standards. Sometimes, I think we have to fall away from the Gospel to be able to appreciate everything the gospel has to offer.
I finally came back around my Senior year of high school. I had a really great seminary teacher and I had promised him and another teacher that I wouldn't miss a single day of Seminary.. and I didn't. I loved going to seminary! I started paying attention to the lessons and trying to apply what I learned from them to my own life. I learned more in that single year of seminary than I did in the last 3 years that I had taken prior to it. I had so much love for this gospel and was so grateful that I had taken the time to actually learn about it and apply it to my life. I was truly a happier person from taking that step and still am.
Towards the end of my senior year, I started to pray about a mission. It was May and I didn't turn Nineteen until the middle of March. But if I was going to serve a mission, I wanted to know right then. I wanted as much time as possible to prepare. I prayed and got the answer no. So I prayed again because I so badly wanted to serve a mission like all of my friends. I still got the answer no. I continued to pray and pray and pray and each time I prayed I got the answer no. I was so disappointed. But I look back on it now, and I continuously got the answer no because I wasn't wanting to serve a mission for the right reasons.
I had finally come to terms with not serving a mission. I came up with a new plan and was going to start college and get my schooling done as soon as I could so I could start my life. I started school in August, sent my boyfriend off on a mission in September, and started this new plan that I had in my head. I became active in the church again, not missing a single week. I finished my first semester of college with good grades and was so excited to start the spring semester.
My spring semester of college was a train wreck. My classes were HARD and I was frustrated. To make things worse, that boyfriend I sent off on his mission came home because of anxiety and it got blamed on me. Things weren't working out with his family and school was becoming a stressor on top of all the stress I already had. Things just weren't going my way.
I had gotten so frustrated one week that all I could think of to do was pray. I kneeled down in my room and I prayed the hardest I had ever prayed in my life. I asked my Heavenly Father to let me know if what I was doing right now was what I was supposed to be doing and if where I was, was where I needed to be. I prayed for guidance and comfort and anything else he was willing to give me. I went to bed that night and had a dream that I was in the Missionary Training Center. I didn't think anything of it until I continuously was having dreams of being on a mission. I was so confused. I had gotten the answer "no" nearly a year ago! I had come to terms with not going on a mission and I was going to do the school thing instead! I decided to go to the temple and I prayed while waiting to enter the baptismal font to know if I was really supposed to be on a mission. By the time I was done being baptized I knew. I was to serve a mission. I had been overwhelmed with peace and comfort and I just knew.
I wasted no time after that. I set up an appointment with my bishop and started my mission papers. I finished my mission papers in five days and had them submitted by the middle of may. I waited FIVE weeks for my mission call (which was seriously so long and made me soooo anxious). I prayed and prayed during those five weeks to feel at peace and to love wherever I was called. I opened my call surrounded by all of my best friends and my family! I have been called to serve in the California Riverside Mission, Spanish Speaking, and I report in SIX DAYS (August 2nd). I felt at peace and I couldn't wait to serve the people of California. I haven't felt any anxiety or stress about where I am going since I opened my call because I know the Lord is sending me there because there are people there that need me to teach them. How cool is it to know that?!
I promise there is a purpose to this story.. The point is, whether you serve a mission or don't, God has a plan for you! He has a specific plan just for you and when we follow his path it will lead us to eternal happiness! If you keep getting the answer "no" when you pray about serving a mission, that's okay! Go on with your life and do whatever else God has planned for you. Even if you don't finally get the "yes" you have been waiting for that's okay too! There are other things out there that God has planned for you and the best thing you can do is follow that plan. I also have a huge testimony on the Power of Prayer. I have seen too many times in my life where my prayers have been answered where there is no denying that the power of prayer is real! If you are ever in a time of desperate answers, PRAY. I promise God will give you answers if you are faithful to him. We all have a purpose in this life, we just have to find it.
Picture Credit: Jessica Casperson Photography
Check her out on Instagram if you want to see more of her work! @jessicacaspersonphotography
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