finding my way through life: I Served a Mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints

California Riverside Mission

10 months ago I made a decision that I wanted to serve a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. I had prayed and prayed and attended the Temple multiple times and I knew this was something I needed to do. I contacted my Bishop, Started my mission papers, and finished them in 5 days. The wait was on. I waited impatiently for 5 weeks to receive my mission call and when I did, I was THRILLED. California Riverside Mission, Spanish Speaking and I was to leave a short 5 weeks later. From the minute I opened my mission call I didn't have a single doubt. I was so excited to serve my Savior and serve the people of Riverside, California!

CCM District 9A

5 short weeks later, I was saying goodbye to my family and boarding a plane to Mexico where I would spend the next 6 weeks learning Spanish so that I could preach the Gospel to those that spoke Spanish. The CCM was the best time of my life. My companion and I got along SO well which is truly a blessing because sometimes, Missionaries don't get along with their companions. But I lucked out with an awesome companion and an awesome district to spend the next 6 weeks with! They truly made the CCM easy and I wasn't an ounce of homesick during those 6 weeks. I was having the best time learning Spanish, making new friends, and coming to know my Savior better.

Those 6 weeks flew by and before I knew it, I was boarding another plane with 3 other Elders, headed to California. The 4 of us were so nervous for the Mission Field. Coming from Mexico, we got in later than the rest of the Missionaries and when we walked into a room full of 20+ missionaries that had been sitting in the Orientation that we had missed all day, we were a little intimidated. I had no idea what to expect in the Mission field. All I knew was that it was not going to be the same as the CCM. We were assigned our new companions and sent home to unpack! The next 18 months of my life had begun.

Hermans Burris y Cramer

We were thrown immediately into Missionary work. The first day of work, I realized I didn't know a lick of Spanish. I literally didn't understand a single word that these people were saying. "What am I doing?!?!" was constantly crossing my mind. I was so lost and felt extremely discouraged. I was in a Trio and I was honestly so blessed with these 2 Hermanas as my companions. They were so encouraging and so willing to help me out! They gave me so many opportunities to share my thoughts during lessons and practice my Spanish. I was so blessed to be able to learn from the both of them!

As the months went on, I was improving as a Missionary and I was LOVING my mission. I had a passion to talk with the people, enjoy their culture, and their food (Because have you tried authentic Mexican food?! ITS THE BOMB), The more I served others, the more I loved my mission. My whole heart became dedicated to the work. I loved being around the other Missionaries and meeting new people. I loved all our success stories and our unsuccessful stories. I had the desire to work and work HARD.

About Mid October, towards the end of my second transfer, I noticed my anxiety acting up. Most people don't know, but I have dealt with anxiety for most of my life. I knew with the physical, emotional, and mental demands of missionary work that my anxiety could get worse. So, I wasn't shocked when I noticed it during October. I am the type of person that doesn't like my anxiety to get in the way of things I want to do. Being this way, I brushed off my anxiety completely and just dealt with it.

Mi Hija, Hermana Garcia

Through out November, my anxiety was starting to get worse. I had migraines and was exhausted 85% of the time, but I wanted to serve this Mission SO BAD and I refused to let things get in the way of that. I suffered through my anxiety and continued to push it away. My Third transfer was coming to an end and my current companion was getting ready to finish her mission. I had started to get extremely homesick and was really struggling with anxiety at this point. I was ready to take on the next transfer with whoever my new companion may be in hopes that she would get me back on my feet. Well, if there is one thing I learned on my mission it was to Expect the Unexpected. Leadership calls came in and I was called to finish the Training of a new missionary. I was honored to be able to have this opportunity and was determined to train this new missionary to the best of my ability but I knew this was the worst possible transfer that I could be called to Train.

The transfer ended, my Trainer went home, and my Trainee had arrived and was ready to work! I was really hoping she could get me back into the work and help distract me from my anxiety and the personal problems I was having. I noticed myself getting more and more agitated as the weeks went on. I started losing my desire to work. I was still getting frequent migraines, I was always tired, and my heart had started constantly racing throughout the day. 9/10 times I was having to force myself to go out and work because I just didn't have the desire to. Not because I didn't love the work, but because I knew the anxiety I was having was caused from the work. I tried my absolute hardest to get my heart back into the work and nothing was working. Christmas came, and my heart still wasn't in it and during my skype call with my family, they noticed I was struggling and that I wasn't myself.

After Christmas, I decided that I needed to get some sort of help. I called my Mission President's wife. She had me take an MLQ, which is a quiz that determines the stress level of a missionary. The average score for someone my age is 55 and without going into details, I scored WAY higher than 55. This qualified me to meet with the Mission Counselor. She was amazing and helped me so much! We had been discussing things that may help my anxiety and going home happened to be something we discussed. I had been fighting this option for an extremely long time. I did not want to go home. I went back to my area and started searching for answers. I prayed more than I had prayed in my whole life. I searched conference talks, scriptures, and I read my patriarchal blessing more than 60 times. After so much pondering and praying, I knew I needed to be in a comfortable environment to overcome my anxiety. Every time I thought about going home, I felt peace. Every time I thought about staying, it caused me anxiety. I finally gave in and called my Mission President and told him how I was feeling.

My Mission President was so good to listen to me and told me he needed to pray about the feelings I was having about going home. I went on with my days and the work and two days later I received a call from him. "Sister Woodyatt, The Lord is telling me it's time for you to go home." Crippling isn't it? I knew this was the right thing but man, those words hurt and they hurt BAD. We decided that I would stay until the end of the transfer to finish Training my companion, and then I would go home. There was 2 weeks left of the transfer and I'm not ashamed to admit that I cried most of those two weeks. I did not want to go home, but 2 weeks later I was on a plane, headed home with an Honorable Medical Release.

Since I have been home, I have felt a lot better! I still struggle with anxiety and the side effects of anxiety, but I am starting to feel like myself again. I will say a thousand times that the most important thing I learned to do on my mission was to trust in the Lord and the plan that he has for us because he DOES have a plan for each and every one of us! I may not understand the "why's" right now, but I find great strength in the Savior and his Atonement and I am so grateful for the atoning sacrifices he made for each of us so that we are able to feel peace and comfort in our times of trial. I received a Priesthood blessing before I came home and I know there is missionary work for me to do at home and that home is where I am currently needed! I am not ashamed of the short time I served and although I only served a short 6 months I had a lot of success! I experienced things on my mission that some Missionaries don't get to experience at all during their missions. I have a lot of success stories from my mission and I was able to grow a million times closer to my Heavenly Father and my Savior. I learned the importance of the Gospel and why it is so important that we apply it to our lives. I am so grateful for the opportunity I had to serve my Savior and bring people unto him.

I served a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day saints... and I am forever grateful for the opportunity to do so.